Support for Parents of Wrongful Death Victims in California

Before saying anything else, we want to convey our deepest condolences for your loss.

Dealing with the death of a loved one is challenging by itself, but having to get through the death of a child is another level of emotional pain and anguish.

Then, to make things even worse (as difficult as it is to imagine things being even harder for you right now), there may be other practical challenges, such as paying for your child’s funeral arrangements.

The point of this article is to offer information on helping you find support in California during this difficult time. Unfortunately, none of the resources provided are likely to make all of your pain or struggles go away. But hopefully, they’ll get you pointed in the right direction for healing and being able to move on, while also remembering who and what you’ve lost.

Resources on this Page

Support Groups

Even if you have your spouse or other parent to help support and comfort you (and each other), you could still benefit from finding peers in a similar situation as you. Sharing feelings and experiences with others can offer a host of benefits. The following is a list of resources to help you find a support group, whether you’re looking for something local for in-person meetings or virtual sessions.

  • Hospitals: Most hospitals will have bereavement resources available to patients and family of patients. These resources are also commonly available to the general public, usually for free.
  • Funeral Homes: Grief support is commonly offered at funeral homes, including local support groups with regular in-person meetings.
  • Places of Worship: Churches and other religious institutions often offer grief support, either through one-on-one meetings with church leaders or by hosting support groups.
  • Palliative Care Providers: In addition to providing grief and bereavement care for patients and families of patients, this care is also typically available for free to the general public.
  • Senior Centers: Some towns and cities will have senior centers that offer support meetings to members and those of the local community. Depending on the senior center, grief support will also be available.
  • Psychology Today – Grief Support Groups in California: You can use Psychology Today’s online search tool to find grief support groups hosted by licensed therapists and counselors.
  • GriefShare – Find a GriefShare Group: Griefshare has affiliations with local churches that offer support groups for various life challenges, including grief.
  • Hand to Hold: Hand to Hold focuses on supporting parents with children who have spent time in a neonatal intensive care unit. They offer a variety of resources, including peer mentoring and virtual support groups.

Therapy and Counseling

If you have the time and financial resources, strongly consider individual therapy or counseling. Having great friends and family members to talk to about your loss and provide support is fantastic. But they can’t replace the targeted and focused guidance that a licensed mental health professional can provide.

Many health insurance policies will cover sessions with a licensed counselor or therapist. Even if they don’t (or you lack health insurance), some therapists will offer discounted rates for self-pay clients.

Finding the right therapist or counselor can also be a challenge, even if time or money isn’t an issue. To have access to a larger number of potential professionals, consider online counseling. Many of these therapists will also be available through text and by phone. Below is a list of some online therapy and counseling providers:

books

As beneficial as a support group can be, some parents may prefer to handle grief on their own. Yet they may lack the information and skills to do so. To address this need, there are a plethora of books available on the topic of grief, especially grieving the loss of a child.

A good way to find helpful books is to visit your local library and browse their grief or self-help section. Most libraries allow members to check out books for free, but the best thing about going to a library is that you can look through the books before checking them out. And if it turns out you don’t like the book, you can return it and check out a different one the same day without having wasted the money on buying a book you don’t want.

If you prefer to buy a book, the challenging part can be figuring out which book to buy, given how many there are. You can start by typing in “books on parental grief” in an online search tool (such as Google) or going to an online book seller (like Amazon.com) and typing in “parental grief.” Either method should give you more results than you know what to do with.

Finally, there are numerous book lists online that relate to the topic of child loss. You can find these using a Google search mentioned in the previous paragraph, but here’s a book list from Just Enduring to get you started.

Videos

The Internet has numerous videos that provide support and advice to parents. A good place to find these is on YouTube. Not every video will be helpful, but there are plenty of excellent videos available. A good place to start is by checking out WPSUs Speaking Grief collection of videos. There are also free online video courses available, including an online course for Grieving Dads presented by Kelly D. Farley.

Camps, Retreats, and Gatherings

Sometimes, the power of community and engaging in group activities can help with the grieving process, especially when it takes place with others in similar situations. There are several camps, courses, retreats, and social get-togethers that are available for parents who are grieving the loss of a child. Below is a sample of what’s available, with most of these being in-person events, although virtual attendance is sometimes an option.

  • Camp Newman: Operated by the Union for Reform Judaism, Camp Newman’s Grief and Growing is a weekend retreat for people of all ages who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. The retreat is open to people of all faiths and beliefs, although the weekend program includes various elements and practices of the Jewish faith as it occurs over Shabbat.
  • Conscious Giving Retreat: This retreat is led by author and therapist Claire Bidwell Smith and takes place in Northern California over three days. It’s ideal for those looking to connect with others and find healing for their grief.
  • The Dinner Party: This is a network of grief support groups called Tables, which allow participants to join virtual or in-person dinner parties.

Financial

Money is probably the last concern for you right now, but it’s still another challenge and hurdle to deal with during your grieving process. Hopefully, you can afford the funeral and related costs, but if you can’t, there are some organizations, such as Buzzy’s Bees, that focus on assisting those who have lost a child. Buzzy’s Bees offers financial support to parents for basic living expenses, as well as costs associated with the grieving process, such as funeral expenses and therapy.

Social Media

Grieving.com has active forums with sections devoted to various types of grief, including the loss of a child. You can also find other ways to communicate with others dealing with grief through Reddit. Two subreddits that can help grieving parents include r/ChildLoss and r/GriefSupport.

General Resources and Organizations

There are many organizations that focus on helping those who have lost a child, as well as those trying to help a friend or family member who has lost a child. Below is a sampling of the types of organizations that are available:

  • The Compassionate Friends: This organization has chapters all over the country, including California, with the primary mission of helping family members when a child dies.
  • Bereaved Parents of the USA: Despite its name, Bereaved Parents of the USA aims to help all family members get through the loss of a child.
  • HAND of the Bay Area: HAND of the Bay Area is a nonprofit organization with the goal of helping parents who have lost a baby before, during, or just after birth.
  • Share: Focuses on supporting those who have lost a child during pregnancy or during infancy.
  • Miss Foundation: Helps family members dealing with the loss of a child.