Support for Children of Wrongful Death Victims in California
A child who loses a parent can benefit from all the support they can get going through this heartbreaking time.
This can be particularly true as many children lack the emotional regulation and coping skills that adults have.
If you’re facing the herculean task of raising a child in California who just lost a parent, we know that you could probably use additional help with supporting them.
That’s why we created this article, where we identify a host of available resources to help children deal with their grief.
Support Groups
Group support is especially beneficial to children, given how many kids need to feel accepted or as if they “fit in” in order to feel comfortable. Then once they feel comfortable, it’s easier for them to open up and share their feelings and experiences. Kids are also more easily able to learn quickly and model positive behaviors than most adults. Luckily, there are numerous grief support groups in California, including those that can help children who have lost one or both parents.
- Hospitals and Hospice Care Providers: Hospitals and palliative care providers usually have well-established bereavement services for their patients and their families. However, many of these grief professionals are also able to see members of the general public, usually at no cost.
- Funeral Homes: Given their line of work, funeral homes will have employees who can offer support to those who have lost a loved one, especially children. Some funeral homes will also offer additional grief resources, including one or more support groups.
- Places of Worship: Most organized religions have unique ways of helping others manage and understand grief and death. Many religious institutions are open to members of the general public who seek advice and help when dealing with death.
- Psychology Today – Grief Support Groups in California: Psychology Today has an online search tool to help anyone find grief support groups in their area.
- GriefShare – Find a GriefShare Group: Griefshare’s search tool can help users find local support groups in California. These are typically run by local churches and can help individuals with any number of struggles, including grief.
- National Alliance for Children’s Grief (NACG): The NACG has a directory of affiliated grief support centers, including those in California.
- Dougy Center: The Dougy Center focuses on helping children deal with grief, with resources available to kids and their caregivers. There’s also a program finder where users can find in-person support close to them.
- Rainbows for All Children – Find a Free Support Group: Rainbows for All Children was founded to support youth dealing with grief, no matter the source. They offer a variety of peer-support groups, both in-person and online.
Therapy, Counseling, and Coaching
Therapy and counseling can help anyone, but it’s especially beneficial for children. It can teach them coping skills that can help them as they get older and face the inevitable challenges life is likely to give them.
The majority of licensed counselors and therapists will have sufficient skills and training to help children, although it’ll probably be best to find someone who focuses the bulk of their practice on working with kids. They’re more likely to have exposure to common concerns and issues children deal with, better understand the cognitive development process of children, and be more familiar with newer “cultural trends” that many older adults have difficulty relating to.
Much of the one-on-one therapy and counseling is available through in-person sessions, but many providers also offer virtual therapy. Depending on the child, virtual consultations may be a preferred form of interaction, given how some kids feel more comfortable with screen interaction instead of face-to-face contact. A few popular online therapy and counseling providers include:
If cost is an issue, California has a free coaching program for children (and their caregivers) that teaches children how to manage feelings of anxiety, sadness, and anger. Referrals to licensed therapists can be made if deemed appropriate following the coaching sessions.
Books
Sometimes children prefer to cope by themselves or are better able to manage their pain by figuring things out on their own. A great way to complement the support provided by caregivers, teachers, friends, and licensed mental health professionals is to provide books to kids that can help them process how they feel on their own pace and on their own terms, without feel pressured by someone else.
The local library is a fantastic way to browse books for no cost. There’s also the benefit of having access to a librarian who can help find the right book, or at least show which part of the library has the grief and self-help section of books.
As for which books to provide to children who have lost a parent, doing a simple search with an online search engine (like Google) is the perfect place to start. In addition to finding specific books, it should also come up with recommended book lists. Here are some lists to get you started:
Videos
Given how reliant many kids have become on screens in their lives, using videos to help explain grief can be an effective tool. YouTube will have plenty of videos on this topic, but an excellent place to start is For Families: When Families Grieve, which you can find on the Sesame Workshop YouTube channel.
Camps and Retreats
One of the best ways to help anyone dealing with grief is to introduce them to others who are also struggling with grief. Then add fun activities that can help form bonds and offer some emotional reprieve, and you have a good way to help children who have just lost a parent.
California is home to several camps and retreats focused on helping children suffering from grief or another major loss. A few of these include:
- Camp Newman: Most of Camp Newman’s offerings are traditional summer camps, but they also offer a weekend retreat for anyone, including children, who have lost a loved one. The program is intended for those of the Jewish faith, but the retreat is open to people of all faiths and beliefs.
- Camp Hope California: Camp Home California is intended for children who have experienced the death of someone they love. It’s a two-day camp that’s open to kids and teens and is completely free.
- Camp Kara: Children aged 6-17 who have lost a person of significance are eligible to attend this free bereavement camp that takes place over a weekend during the summer.
Social Media
Kids are active users of social media, so it makes sense that some of their learning about processing and managing grief can be found online. One place to start is one of the many subreddits, or sections of Reddit that focus on particular topics or subjects. Two on-point subreddits include r/ChildrenofDeadParents and r/GriefSupport. These subreddits, as well as social media in general, are best suited for older children and youth, especially those who have at least reached their teenage years.
Journaling
Writing and self-reflection can be an effective way to get through a difficult time, including the loss of someone close. Journaling is one way to engage in this activity. Depending on the person, a child can journal with a pen or pencil and paper, but there are online journaling options, such as Penzu.
Video Games
Many children enjoy playing video games, so it would be nice if there were video games that focus on helping kids deal with grief. Thankfully, there are many games that offer this experience, including: