Emotional Support for Families of Wrongful Death Victims in California
When someone you love passes away, dealing with the emotional pain is arguably the hardest part. There’s a good chance that this might be the most painful experience you’ll ever have to deal with, a pain that’s been made worse because it may be the result of someone else’s wrongful conduct.
Everyone grieves differently, so while it would be ideal to think that this is the worst of it and it only gets better, sadly, that’s not always the case.
For what it’s worth, the fact that you’re reading this right now is a positive sign. It means you’re willing to take proactive steps in dealing with your loss. It shows you want to move forward and live your life the way your lost loved one would have wanted, while also keeping their memory strong within you and your family.
If you need extra help and support during this challenging time, below you’ll find an overview of different emotional support resources you should have available, many of which will be focus on supporting those in California.
Local Support Groups
Having access to real, in-person contact to talk about your pain, ask questions, or get advice is a priceless resource. Sometimes you just want a sounding board while you vent, while other times, you need structured guidance and feedback on what you’re currently going through. Whatever your need, there’s probably a grief support group near you. Below are some ways to help find one that’s closest to you, which also has the resources to deal with your particular needs.
- Psychology Today – Grief Support Groups in California: Psychology Today is an online publication that focuses on human behavior and psychology, and they offer a large list of grief support groups in California for many different types of grief. Many of the groups are hosted by licensed counselors or therapists.
- GriefShare – Find a GriefShare Group: A faith-based organization, GriefShare has affiliations with local churches across the country with the mission of helping anyone dealing with a major life crisis.
- Dougy Center – Find Grief Support Near You: The Dougy Center focuses on supporting children and their families who are dealing with grief. The website has an easy-to-use search function where you can look for grief support groups by city and state or ZIP code.
- Hospitals: Many hospitals will have specialized grief or bereavement resources available. Sometimes they’re tailored to the families of their patients, but many have support groups that are available to everyone, often for no charge. Two examples include Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles and the UC Davis Medical Center in Rancho Cordova.
- Hospice and Home Care Providers: In addition to their hospice care services, many hospice care providers will also have bereavement and grief support resources available, which include support groups. These are focused on helping the families of patients, but they’re also usually available for free to most members of the general public. Pathways Home Health and Hospice’s bereavement services are available to anyone who’s lost a loved one within the last 13 months, and HospiceEastBay offers support groups and classes, all for free. To find a home care or hospice provider near you, you can search the National Alliance for Care at Home’s national directory of hospice and home care providers.
- Funeral Homes: Many funeral homes and cremation service providers in California offer some form of grief support. This assistance can range from a website with general information and a list of other resources to a dedicated support group, as is the case with Bryan-Braker Funeral Home.
- Senior Centers: Many municipalities, such as the City of Folsom, will have senior centers with a variety of support services, including a grief support group.
Private Practice Therapy or Counseling
As great as close friends and local support groups can be, nothing compares to the expertise of a licensed mental health professional. Whether they’re a therapist, counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker, they will have the formal training and experience to provide the best emotional support and mental health healing possible.
The drawback of getting help from a professional is that they almost always charge for their services. If you have health insurance, it’s possible that what you need to pay will be minimal. Depending on your plan’s specifics, it’s also possible for you to pay full price for each session, but once you hit your deductible or out of pocket limit, each session will be free. When doing your research, you can ask your insurance company, prospective therapist, or counselor what you should expect to pay.
Keep in mind that while many mental health professional see their patients or clients for in-person sessions, many also offer their services online. Depending on your needs and resources, your therapist or counselor may be able to host sessions through secure video conferencing and texting software.
Ideally, your therapy or counseling will occur in person, but the time and money savings that can often come from online counseling might be the difference between getting the help you need or going without. Online therapy also dramatically expands the list of potential providers that can help you, which can be helpful if you have unique emotional needs or issues.
Online therapy can give you the freedom to find the right professional for you, as gaining the most benefits from therapy can sometimes depend on the rapport, chemistry, and/or comfort level you have with your mental health professional. In other words, sometimes finding the right counselor or therapist involves more than making sure they’re licensed and accept your health insurance plan.
There are many online options to choose from, but a few online mental health service providers include:
Hobby or Interest Groups
One way to help deal with grief is to continue engaging in existing hobbies or find new ones. Not only does it offer psychological benefits, but it also helps you meet new people that can offer friendly support and a listening ear while you partake in a mutually enjoyable activity. In some cases, a hobby or special interest group will formally combine an activity with grief support. A great example of this is Art4Healing, which offers art for healing workshops in Laguna Hills.
Crisis Support
Crisis support providers can offer some emotional support during this difficult time in your life. While often specializing in more immediate and acute emotional challenges, they can still help with a recent loss of a close family member. Many crisis support providers offer assistance to anyone in the United States, although some have a more local focus, such as Crisis Support Services of Alameda County.
Mental Health Plans
Each county in California should have a Mental Health Plan that can provide (or make arrangements for) mental health services to Medi-Cal beneficiaries. To find a provider for your county, check out the California Department of Health Care Services’ County Mental Health Plan Information Directory.
Churches and Other Places of Worship
This might be one of the first sources of emotional support, especially if you have a regular church or religious organization you attend each week. However, if you haven’t been to church in a while, it might help to attend a weekly service or talk to a religious leader about what you’re going through.
Whatever your religion, sect, or denomination, there should be someone at the church or house of worship with experience helping others with grief. Some churches also have their own grief support groups that meet regularly, and anyone is encouraged to attend, even if they’re not a member of that particular religious organization.
Local Library
Your local library should have books and videos that provide information on the psychology of grief, as well as how to best deal with it. You might find these DVDs or books in a self-help section, but if you’re having trouble finding them, don’t be afraid to ask the librarian or reference staff. And who knows, after explaining to them what you’re looking for and why, you might learn of other grief resources in your area or even make a new friend.
Friends
This might seem like an obvious place to find emotional support, but you might feel hesitant to “burden” your friends with your grief. It’s understandable to feel this way, but if someone is truly your friend, they want to help you and be available for you during this difficult time. Despite these intentions, they might be hesitant to say or do anything for fear of making things worse or more difficult for you. As a result, you and your friends could find yourself in the unfortunate situation where you need help, and they want to provide that help, but no one is ready to take the first step for fear on coming across as inconsiderate.
Social Media
Love it or hate it, social media is here to stay, and the ability to connect people from around the globe is unmatched. Not everything on social media is positive, but thankfully, there are a variety of social media sites that have special messages boards or online havens for people struggling with particular issues, including grief.
Searching for a grief support message board in an online search engine should provide a plethora of resources, but one place to get started is Reddit. It offers many subreddits or specialized “message boards” for those looking for help dealing with their grief. Two such subreddits include r/GriefSupport and r/grief.
Yourself
Finally, don’t forget that you can do things to help yourself to better handle the emotional turmoil you’re no doubt enduring. All the outside help won’t do much good if you’re not ready or able to accept that help. Therefore, below are things you can do to help yourself while accepting the help of others:
- Get plenty of exercise.
- Eat as healthily as possible.
- Limit your intake of drugs, alcohol, and other mind-altering substances unless first cleared by your doctor and/or therapist.
- Try to identify your grief triggers and plan around them as necessary.
- Be patient with yourself and understand that it’s okay to let your body grieve in its own way, even if it means having an ugly cry and staying in bed all day.
- Be kind to yourself, whether it’s taking a personal day from work, treating yourself to a movie or a favorite treat, or engaging in some other form of self-care.
- Let your emotions out, as holding in your feelings may seem like it makes you tough (or signal you’re overcoming your grief), but it most likely prolongs the grieving process.