Support for Spouses of Wrongful Death Victims in California
The love of your life is gone, and before we go any further, let us say how sorry we are for your loss. Ideally, you wouldn’t be reading this right now, but the fact that you are means you’ve got the most important trait for surviving this ordeal: the will to stay strong and continue living your life the way your spouse would have wanted.
As important as it is to have this motivation, the desire to heal and process your grief sometimes isn’t enough. That’s why we curated the following list of support resources for spouses in California. What happened to them (and you) isn’t fair, and those responsible may have to pay for what they did. But there are still things you can do, even if you don’t feel like it sometimes.
If you can make it through today, you can make it through tomorrow. And if you can make it through tomorrow, who knows what’s possible. Hang in there, and you’ll eventually reach a point where the pain becomes bearable. Until then, consider the following sources of support to help get you through each day.
Support Groups
Traditional places to find support groups after losing someone close include funeral homes, hospitals, places of worship, and hospice or palliative care providers. Most of these institutions offer bereavement services at no charge not just to their customers, members, or patients, but also to members of the general public.
In addition to these entities, numerous national organizations also offer group-based support for individuals trying to manage their grief. Some of the more well-established are:
- Soaring Spirits – Regional Social Groups: Soaring Spirits’ mission is to help widowed individuals connect with each other.
- The W Connection – General Meetings and Events: The W Connection was established for women who have lost a spouse and need help rebuilding their lives. The W Connection offers a plethora of support options, including peer-led meetings, chats, webinars, workshops, and club meetings (both in-person and virtual).
- Support Groups: If there’s a reason to create a support group, that group can probably be found online on Support Groups. The vast majority of these online support groups are free to join.
- Widowed Parent – Support Groups: This organization exists to help parents who have lost a spouse and are raising a child on their own. Widowed parent offers in-person support groups in various states (including California), as well as a virtual group.
- Institute on Aging – Friendship Line: The Institute on Aging doesn’t operate an official support group, but it does have a 24/7 lifeline for older individuals who feel isolated and are looking for someone to talk to, especially following a difficult moment in life like losing a spouse.
Note that some of the above providers of support groups are also organizations that aim to help people who have recently lost a spouse. So don’t hesitate to explore what other resources they have to offer, including social events, virtual programs, and pen pal programs.
If you’re looking for generalized emotional support, you can find a California support group using Psychology Today’s grief support search tool or GriefShare’s search tool.
Therapy and Counseling
Seeing a licensed therapist or counselor for emotional support and overall mental health should be one of the first things you do if you’re struggling with your spouse passing away. Of course, there are time, logistical, and financial constraints that could make this difficult, but it’s something you work hard to make happen if you can.
If you do start looking for a therapist or counselor, you need to be patient in finding the right professional. Finding the right therapist or counselor is like finding a new best friend. Yes, there may be qualifications or traits they need to have to meet your needs, but chemistry is also important. You need to get along well with the person so you can establish a connection and trust them.
If you want in-person sessions, you’ll probably be limited to who you can see based on your location and your health insurance coverage. But if you’re willing and able to pay out-of-pocket, you should consider online sessions. These are very convenient and allow you to try out many more therapists or counselors than you would otherwise. Below are several potential providers to look into (some of which may take insurance):
Books
If you’re a bookworm, don’t forget to look for some self-help and self-improvement books on grief. If finances are a concern, your local library offers great access to a wide selection of books at little to no cost to you. But whether you buy a book or check it out from a library, you could probably benefit from a list of books to get you started. Luckily, you can find some good lists at Soaring Spirits International’s Widowed Village and Evermore’s Book Store of Adult Grief Books.
Videos
There will be plenty of content creators producing helpful and insightful videos for dealing with grief. In addition to the usual social media sites such as YouTube and Tik Tok, there are plenty of other sources, including Soaring Spirits International’s Widowed Village Videos for Comfort and Calm.
Camps, Retreats, and Gatherings
Healing in a group setting has its benefits, yet some people prefer this group setting to be less formal than a support group or therapy session. To meet this need, there are several camps, retreats, and gatherings available in California for adults who have lost a spouse.
- Camp Newman: The Union for Reform Judaism operates this weekend retreat, which is open to anyone who has lost someone close. Although this retreat occurs over Shabbat, this camp is open to anyone, even if they’re not Jewish.
- Conscious Giving Retreat: Author and therapist Claire Bidwell Smith leads this retreat, which takes place over three days and is open to adults seeking a total immersion healing process for their grief.
- The Dinner Party: Participants can create connections with others dealing with grief by attending virtual or in-person dinner gatherings.
Financial Assistance
Losing a spouse can mean not just emotional struggles, but financial ones, too. This is particularly true in single-income households where the spouse who passed away was the sole breadwinner. Some organizations, such as the Hope for Widows Foundation, offer special grants to widows who could benefit from financial assistance while they grieve their loss.
In addition to financial grants, there are also education programs that teach personal financial skills to those who have lost a spouse. One organization offering such a program includes Wings for Widows.
General Online Resources
If you’re just looking for general information and help, or you don’t need to have a resource based in California, then there are even more organizations to consider taking advantage of. For example, there’s the National Widowers Organization, which was founded to support men coping with the loss of a spouse, and the Modern Widows Club, which is like the National Widowers Organization, but focuses on women instead of men.
Social Media
Not everyone thinks highly of social media, but it does have some positives, especially if you’re looking to connect with others in similar situations. One of the better sites for this is Reddit, where users can find special sections or subreddits filled with others going through similar challenges or experiences. There are many grief-based subreddits, but those who have just lost a spouse might want to first start with r/GriefSupport, r/widowed, or r/widowers.